Ruining my Kids... One Day at a Time.

Semi-Annual Sale - Now Save Up To 60% Off at PUMA

There are many moms out there that are perfect. I mean, perfect in every way. They are organized. They always look polished. Their SUVs are clean. Their houses are clean. Their kids go to bed at a set time every night - after having dinner at the exact time each evening. And, of course, the meals provided have been home-cooked and are planned in advance for the week. Meatloaf on Monday. Roast beef on Tuesday. Spaghetti on Wednesday. You get the picture.

I'm not one of those moms. I'm a complete disaster! As a matter of fact, I'm so opposite of the perfect moms that my kids are survivalists in the making.

I am so disorganized that I'm constantly hunting for shoes for baby girl. She has about 40 pairs of shoes (that's normal for a 3 year old, right?) but there always seems to be one missing when I have the perfect outfit for her. I buy her hair bows and bands but can never find them (actually, I think she hides them from me.)

My son is ready to get his driver's license, and I keep rescheduling it because I tell him I'm so swamped with work that "today isn't a good day." Truth is, I have no freakin' idea where I carefully filed his birth certificate and social security card. Dang... where did I put those? I know they are in a safe place somewhere... but where?

I'm never polished looking during the week. The only time I put on make up and fix my hair is if I have a client meeting. Typically I'm in sweat pants and a wife beater tank with big fuzzy house slippers while doing important professional phone conferences with clients. Many of the clients have asked me to get Skyp so we can video chat and I keep avoiding it because that'll mean I have to look presentable and God knows I don't want to deal with that nonsense! When I meet with a client for the first time, I look fabulous. Skirt, heels, blouse, matching briefcase, hair perfect and make up on. But, after the meeting, if I like the client and decide to work with them I make it clear that this will be the only time they see me dressed up (totally feel like I'm in drag!) and to expect jeans with holes in them, a t-shirt and UGG boots next time. Like it or leave it. I'm too old to care about impressing. They should be impressed with the amazing work I produce and not fancy clothes and make up, right?


When it comes to keeping my SUV clean and organized, I get a big FAIL on that. It's filled with mail that I pick up and ignore (only interested in the checks that arrive - the rest of the mail sucks), cheerios and sippy cups that have rolled under the seats that I find days later only because my car starts to smell. Typically, baby girl will begin the stripping process in the car on the way home from daycare and the first thing she takes off are her shoes (hmm... need to check the car for some missing shoes) so there are about 10 pairs in there. The only time I "muck out" the car is if I know I am picking up someone that matters - like an adult (and sometimes I don't even do it then.)

I am a hoarder when it comes to storing food. I think this is because I lived on a farm for so many years that was far away from any grocery stores. Therefore, when I'd do the 38-mile-round-trip to the store, I'd make sure I bought enough food so that I wouldn't have to go back any time soon. But, when I buy all this wonderful food and put it away, most times I forget to cook it! I'll have the most beautiful pot roast, chicken breasts and steaks in the freezer that will go bad because I never remember to take them out and thaw to cook for an evening meal.  I end up with meat that is freezer-burned, but lots of quick, fix it meals that are eaten instead.

How do these perfect moms do it? I can't even remember to take my house key with me 80% of the time and end up having to climb in a window in the middle of the day to get back into my house! The neighbors think I'm crazy - I'm sure - when they see this 44-year-old mother of two hiking herself up on a ledge and flipping in the house face first. I've gotten so many bruises from doing this, I look like a roller derby skater.

My kids think I'm crazy, especially my teenage son. He sends me text messages that say, "MOM... don't forget to cook dinner tonight" or "MOM... don't forget to pick me up from school today." Yes... it's true. I have forgotten him a couple of times. Oops... sorry son. Mommy loves you!

But, at the end of the day, after I've taken kids to school at the crack of dawn, worked like a maniac all day, and picked up the kids from school, they know I love them. We laugh in the car together talking about our day. We sing to music together while driving and tell jokes. I may be a disorganized mom, but I'm a loving mom. I'm there for them emotionally and they are secure.

So, kudos to you perfect moms out there. And, word up to you non-perfect moms! I guess we just have to do it our way and make it work for our kids. All is good in the world when that happens.

PS: I just went into the play room to check on baby girl and found her covered in my $100 mineral powder makeup. She had spread it out on the coffee table and was taking her hands and smearing it everywhere. Nice! I don't wear it anyways, so whatcha gonna do!